Adjectives Of Absurdity: You're Doing It Wrong
Time has come for me to spill some stew all over the laps of sitting pseudo-hipsters. You might not realize it, but that's what you are. And you're bad at the hipster thing, whatever kind of hipster you're consciously or unconsciously attempting to be. Afterall, I'VE HEARD OF IT, this crap you're selling. And you haven't been into it before it was cool. Because in the world of metal, real, unadulterated metal - it's never been "cool". Hair metal has been cool, which is a misrepresentation. Another misrepresentation, Nu-metal, has been "cool", which is the koala bear of heavy music (a koala is not really a bear, now is it?)...pop has been "cool". You get me? Get where I'm going? "Cool" means all the other Tom, Dick, and Harriet Mc Smiths can sing along to in the car. Everyone's doing it. That's "cool". Being "hip" to the kiddos. Why? The mainstream hypno-toad media gave us all the virus. It's not cool to be cool.
Let's not do this with metal, for fuck's sake.
"Sub-genres" are just a base style with an adjective attached. The base genres in metal are traditional, thrash, death, and black...everything else can be traced to these with just a descriptor attached. Do you really wanna be such a bastard child that you're a descriptor without a noun? That's a floating ghost with no host. Why do I have to sound like an English teacher here in 2019 when addressing what I WISH was a bunch of fellow musicians and fans? You're not either, first and foremost, when you have such an non-rooted idea of what to focus upon. Sure, one may be able to come up with a riff on their guitar, despite this crippling mindset. But then, if that otherwise incredible riff sounds...say...too "thrashy" (or whichever adjective happens) to use, according to your preconceived "sub-genre" obsessions - then the riff is thrown out and wasted. No personality comes from the writing session, because natural feel is gone, and replaced by a new riff that makes the writer say to themselves, "There. This new riff sounds more [insert sub-genre here]. That's what I've been listening to. I'll keep that." There's a huge chance you just came up with something largely derivative, despite all the adjectives attached that supposedly make it original. And it's that goal to be within those certain descriptors that lost you the perfectly natural first idea you threw away.
I'm being confusing, I take it. Well...yes, and no. All things are derivative. This is true. And fishing through ideas until one sticks IS part of the writing process. But there's ideas that come out perfectly naturally, within the already preconceived genre of METAL itself (which is the fact that led me to believe you might be confused), that get thrown out or rejected purely because someone's attempting to follow a trend. Yes. A TREND. By being so singularly focused (as in - I want to play only "depressive" black metal, etc.), we are following a trend, or attempting to start one. And it's not just musicians. In all reality, it's fans that are even worse. "I'm only into 'raw' stuff." Oh jeepers, golly gee. Seriously? What gave you that fanaticism? It was probably a trend. It might have been a SMALL trend, causing a mild obsession, but those things grow. Then they get copied, and copied...'till the ink runs low and the prints look like dogshit. Chances are, those "raw" bands, if they're worth their salt, aren't as closed in their influences as the 10th-wavers of fuckers to follow. They might not have even meant to be so "raw"...or whatever adjective is being slobbered over. They might just be what they are because it's what naturally came out.
True story. At present, I personally listen to death or classic metal more than black metal. It's just the flow of what's been impressing me lately. BUT...my own output happens to be a melodic, raw, kinda industrial, depressive black metal. Why? What the fuck's that all about? Well, it's what comes out. It's what I'm good at. I just kinda...play that way. But, on the other hand, there's been times that I've consciously tried to make riffs that sound like exhibit A and example B of a certain sub-genre just because I have been listening to that certain thing a lot at the time...and while some of it might have stuck, because of passion from my listening habits or whatnot; most of my preconceived ideas - the ones I prioritized instead of going with pure feel - SUCKED. The shit got thrown out. So, in turn, what comes out is what I'm good at, and has a quality of its own that makes it worthwhile. There's a bit of an array of influences, sure, but not a forced "sub-sub-sub-genre" that I just HAVE to pull off because of some trendy obsession.
Besides, if I DID magically write and record a successful traditional metal album (like I wish I could successfully pull off), it'd be a lot more acceptable than some of this hoopla I've been seeing lately, since traditional metal is a genre from our musical forefathers. It's a BASE-genre, and not too bad of an idea to shoot for. And I always say - if you are all about a style, but don't pay any mind to the forefathers of that style...you're a garbage person, and should be killed. I'm dramatic for drama's sake, I know.
And so, this isn't to say influences are bad. In fact that's nearly the opposite of what I'm saying. And I realize it's kind of an old fuddy-duddy way to be to imply "Play black metal, but don't focus on melodic, atmospheric, cavernous black", or what have you. I'm sure metalheads before even my old ass said that same thing about it all when thrash was evolving to create death metal and the like. But there are (and I've written endlessly about it) BASE genres. See above. We find one we're infatuated with - let's go with "death metal" for the sake of this example - and let it be it's own thing, because that one seemed to be how said person writes. If it turns out, with the chemistry of the band members and other variables, to be "brutal and psychotic", then good! Same can be said for classic, thrash, or black, which are all BASE genres. The personality that comes should come naturally.
Get a grandiose idea. Ideas are a commodity. If it works with what you and your bandmates are playing, then let it make your music unique. But to be the type of idiot that says, "I'm slam! We do slam!" Slam WHAT? Did you forget that it's a type of death metal? You keep saying that one word... But there's so much you can do within the context of death metal. You're gonna be such a fucking glutton that you waste all your ideas making sure that every moment of your music is a simplistic groove that "slams", all the while sticking to certain rules to make sure it's that one single descriptor? To make sure the vocals are all sewer burps, that the lyrics are ALL tasteless gore? Okay, but what kind of music is "slam"? Or is that the only word that matters? Forget the death metal basis, the history before it, all other aspects. Forget all the great places you could go with a riff if you just broke out a little. But you wanna follow only one trend. That's right. Being this way - about ANY "sub", regarding genres, makes you a trendy. You're doing in the underground what pop does to the masses. Your music has no natural flow. It's just assembly line bullshit.
Let your music have "atmosphere", or let your riffs "slam", or your drumming style be "blasting"...but please, for the love of all that's metal, don't be a glutton for the goddamn adjective. That's all sub-genres are. Stop making me talk like a bad English teacher who got drunk and dug into his CD collection in a nostalgic listening session. And I know my writing is very ranty. Well, I can't help it. I tried to hold back. But...I'm cracking. Let's blame social media for my burnout with seeing the same shit over and over.
But seriously. I just don't want to see musicians, especially in metal, stifling their output. And I don't want to see fans (read: fanatics) limit themselves to one damn descriptor, ignoring everything else - especially the original creators of something unique that came before them. It's disrespectful to be a fan of a trend exclusively. And, honestly, whether I want to see this happen or not...it's going to happen. But, maybe someone will read this semi-incoherent babble and decide to be a real music lover again. I certainly hope so. But please, just try not to be as bad as the mindless drones that follow pop because of whatever trends are abound. And remember, just because something is underground, and can be described in some sort of unique-sounding way, doesn't mean it can't become a trendy, crap sub-genre if given too much gluttonous misuse.
I'm gonna say what many a metalhead before me has said. And I do mean it. FUCK TRENDS.
Time has come for me to spill some stew all over the laps of sitting pseudo-hipsters. You might not realize it, but that's what you are. And you're bad at the hipster thing, whatever kind of hipster you're consciously or unconsciously attempting to be. Afterall, I'VE HEARD OF IT, this crap you're selling. And you haven't been into it before it was cool. Because in the world of metal, real, unadulterated metal - it's never been "cool". Hair metal has been cool, which is a misrepresentation. Another misrepresentation, Nu-metal, has been "cool", which is the koala bear of heavy music (a koala is not really a bear, now is it?)...pop has been "cool". You get me? Get where I'm going? "Cool" means all the other Tom, Dick, and Harriet Mc Smiths can sing along to in the car. Everyone's doing it. That's "cool". Being "hip" to the kiddos. Why? The mainstream hypno-toad media gave us all the virus. It's not cool to be cool.
Let's not do this with metal, for fuck's sake.
"Sub-genres" are just a base style with an adjective attached. The base genres in metal are traditional, thrash, death, and black...everything else can be traced to these with just a descriptor attached. Do you really wanna be such a bastard child that you're a descriptor without a noun? That's a floating ghost with no host. Why do I have to sound like an English teacher here in 2019 when addressing what I WISH was a bunch of fellow musicians and fans? You're not either, first and foremost, when you have such an non-rooted idea of what to focus upon. Sure, one may be able to come up with a riff on their guitar, despite this crippling mindset. But then, if that otherwise incredible riff sounds...say...too "thrashy" (or whichever adjective happens) to use, according to your preconceived "sub-genre" obsessions - then the riff is thrown out and wasted. No personality comes from the writing session, because natural feel is gone, and replaced by a new riff that makes the writer say to themselves, "There. This new riff sounds more [insert sub-genre here]. That's what I've been listening to. I'll keep that." There's a huge chance you just came up with something largely derivative, despite all the adjectives attached that supposedly make it original. And it's that goal to be within those certain descriptors that lost you the perfectly natural first idea you threw away.
I'm being confusing, I take it. Well...yes, and no. All things are derivative. This is true. And fishing through ideas until one sticks IS part of the writing process. But there's ideas that come out perfectly naturally, within the already preconceived genre of METAL itself (which is the fact that led me to believe you might be confused), that get thrown out or rejected purely because someone's attempting to follow a trend. Yes. A TREND. By being so singularly focused (as in - I want to play only "depressive" black metal, etc.), we are following a trend, or attempting to start one. And it's not just musicians. In all reality, it's fans that are even worse. "I'm only into 'raw' stuff." Oh jeepers, golly gee. Seriously? What gave you that fanaticism? It was probably a trend. It might have been a SMALL trend, causing a mild obsession, but those things grow. Then they get copied, and copied...'till the ink runs low and the prints look like dogshit. Chances are, those "raw" bands, if they're worth their salt, aren't as closed in their influences as the 10th-wavers of fuckers to follow. They might not have even meant to be so "raw"...or whatever adjective is being slobbered over. They might just be what they are because it's what naturally came out.
True story. At present, I personally listen to death or classic metal more than black metal. It's just the flow of what's been impressing me lately. BUT...my own output happens to be a melodic, raw, kinda industrial, depressive black metal. Why? What the fuck's that all about? Well, it's what comes out. It's what I'm good at. I just kinda...play that way. But, on the other hand, there's been times that I've consciously tried to make riffs that sound like exhibit A and example B of a certain sub-genre just because I have been listening to that certain thing a lot at the time...and while some of it might have stuck, because of passion from my listening habits or whatnot; most of my preconceived ideas - the ones I prioritized instead of going with pure feel - SUCKED. The shit got thrown out. So, in turn, what comes out is what I'm good at, and has a quality of its own that makes it worthwhile. There's a bit of an array of influences, sure, but not a forced "sub-sub-sub-genre" that I just HAVE to pull off because of some trendy obsession.
Besides, if I DID magically write and record a successful traditional metal album (like I wish I could successfully pull off), it'd be a lot more acceptable than some of this hoopla I've been seeing lately, since traditional metal is a genre from our musical forefathers. It's a BASE-genre, and not too bad of an idea to shoot for. And I always say - if you are all about a style, but don't pay any mind to the forefathers of that style...you're a garbage person, and should be killed. I'm dramatic for drama's sake, I know.
And so, this isn't to say influences are bad. In fact that's nearly the opposite of what I'm saying. And I realize it's kind of an old fuddy-duddy way to be to imply "Play black metal, but don't focus on melodic, atmospheric, cavernous black", or what have you. I'm sure metalheads before even my old ass said that same thing about it all when thrash was evolving to create death metal and the like. But there are (and I've written endlessly about it) BASE genres. See above. We find one we're infatuated with - let's go with "death metal" for the sake of this example - and let it be it's own thing, because that one seemed to be how said person writes. If it turns out, with the chemistry of the band members and other variables, to be "brutal and psychotic", then good! Same can be said for classic, thrash, or black, which are all BASE genres. The personality that comes should come naturally.
Get a grandiose idea. Ideas are a commodity. If it works with what you and your bandmates are playing, then let it make your music unique. But to be the type of idiot that says, "I'm slam! We do slam!" Slam WHAT? Did you forget that it's a type of death metal? You keep saying that one word... But there's so much you can do within the context of death metal. You're gonna be such a fucking glutton that you waste all your ideas making sure that every moment of your music is a simplistic groove that "slams", all the while sticking to certain rules to make sure it's that one single descriptor? To make sure the vocals are all sewer burps, that the lyrics are ALL tasteless gore? Okay, but what kind of music is "slam"? Or is that the only word that matters? Forget the death metal basis, the history before it, all other aspects. Forget all the great places you could go with a riff if you just broke out a little. But you wanna follow only one trend. That's right. Being this way - about ANY "sub", regarding genres, makes you a trendy. You're doing in the underground what pop does to the masses. Your music has no natural flow. It's just assembly line bullshit.
Let your music have "atmosphere", or let your riffs "slam", or your drumming style be "blasting"...but please, for the love of all that's metal, don't be a glutton for the goddamn adjective. That's all sub-genres are. Stop making me talk like a bad English teacher who got drunk and dug into his CD collection in a nostalgic listening session. And I know my writing is very ranty. Well, I can't help it. I tried to hold back. But...I'm cracking. Let's blame social media for my burnout with seeing the same shit over and over.
But seriously. I just don't want to see musicians, especially in metal, stifling their output. And I don't want to see fans (read: fanatics) limit themselves to one damn descriptor, ignoring everything else - especially the original creators of something unique that came before them. It's disrespectful to be a fan of a trend exclusively. And, honestly, whether I want to see this happen or not...it's going to happen. But, maybe someone will read this semi-incoherent babble and decide to be a real music lover again. I certainly hope so. But please, just try not to be as bad as the mindless drones that follow pop because of whatever trends are abound. And remember, just because something is underground, and can be described in some sort of unique-sounding way, doesn't mean it can't become a trendy, crap sub-genre if given too much gluttonous misuse.
I'm gonna say what many a metalhead before me has said. And I do mean it. FUCK TRENDS.
1/17/19
TTSNSN
TTSNSN